Govinda said: “But what you call thing, is it something real, something intrinsic? Is it not only the illusion… only image and appearance? Your stone, your tree, are they real?”
“This does not trouble me much,” said Siddhartha. “If they are illusion, then I also am illusion, and so they are always of the same nature as myself.”
– from Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha
Questioning the nature of our reality is in right now, and has been for quite some time. From the possibility that we may be living in a simulation (The Matrix, more recently any given Black Mirror episode), to questions of what it means to be conscious (Westworld, Ex Machina), to issues of sanity (throwback to Shutter Island, now Russian Doll), there’s nothing humans love doing more than doubting our own reality. I love going down these rabbit holes, but too much time spent doubting what plane of existence we occupy can leave you detached, anxious, and no closer to “true” reality. How does one indulge in this risky cliff-walk of exploring the nature of our reality while remaining planted and productive in the present world?
René Descartes, the French philosopher and mathematician, famously said that “I think think, therefore I am.” This is the simple yet mighty sword we humans (of Western origins) have used for hundreds of years to fight back the demons of existential doubt. If I am thinking, no matter what is going on out there in the world, I am something. Because if I was nothing, I could not be thinking, right? It doesn’t matter if some cruel demon is conjuring up a entire world just to fuck with me, I am thinking thoughts, thus I must be… something. Turning back to Siddhartha, we see this preoccupation with thoughts does not afflict the protagonist:
Sidd: “Samsara and Nirvana are only words, Govinda. Nirvana is not a thing; there is only the word Nirvana.”
Govinda: “Nirvana is not only a word, my friend; it is a thought.”
Sidd: “I do not differentiate very much between thoughts and words. Quite frankly, I do not attach great importance to thoughts either. I attach more importance to things.”
This exchange leads right into the quote that initiated this blog post. Govinda, who has spent much of his life as a monk trying to find enlightenment from within, thinks he spots a flaw in Siddhartha’s logic: Siddhartha places such importance in the external world, but how can he know it is not all an illusion. Descartes and the Black Mirror writers nod along approvingly. I did too, until Siddhartha responded:
“If they are illusion, then I also am illusion, and so they are always of the same nature as myself.”
This line gave me the chills. Even if Descartes’ demon is playing a trick on me and creating an illusory world, I am still part of that world, and the world a part of me. If the rock, tree, and river is all an illusion, then my thoughts and experiences of those things is illusion as well, thus the concept of “illusion” loses all meaning. Whatever plane of existence they occupy, Govinda, Siddhartha, the rock, the tree, and the river are, at the very least, on the same plane. Thus, Siddhartha concludes, you should love and admire all existence.
I find the philosophy of Siddhartha superior to Descartes “I think, therefore I am,” if only because it offers a less selfish outlook on the world. Siddhartha objects to Descartes’ principle that “I think” is the only thing we can truly know without doubt. Siddhartha proposes that since our thoughts occupy the same realm of existence as the things in the world, we can find meaning in that world.
Descartes circa 2019 might say that yeah, well, that’s all well and good that you can find meaning in the world, but how do you know those people who claim to be your friends aren’t just robots, and this whole thing isn’t some kind of Truman Show affair? Well, before you René on my parade too much (booooo), I’d say that while there is a chance this is all a sham, I’ve managed to find a little meaning in the sham, and I’ll keep going until Morpheus spikes my drink.